Today's feast is not only special to me in the way that it is for all Catholics, but also because it is the feast day of my home parish (depicted above). The full title of my home parish church is: The Annunciation of the Ever Virgin Mary, Mother of God Church. We just call it Mother of God Church, for short.***
Well, I've been busy with life. I went to a funeral last weekend, so my week has been off a little bit, but luckily there has been a steady supply of grace given to me to keep me going. For example, I has given the grace of gratitude yesterday, in particular, for my vocation as a cooperator brother. It is a joy to know that whatever gifts and talents God has given me, that I can use them to support either directly or indirectly the mission of the holy Order of Preachers. I was thinking about this, because it would be easy for someone to say, and I sometimes say this myself, since I don't have the call to the priesthood, then there's really no need for me to be a religious. After all, I'm looking into earning an English degree, what does that have to do with the mission of the Church?, etc. It's based on a misunderstanding of why people, men and women, become religious. If I could be happy as a lay person, still celibate and doing work for the Church, I would say that I shouldn't be a religious. But...since I've already been there, and know that I wasn't fulfilled, that I desired the support of others, the prayer life, and the vows, then I am called to be a religious. It was just good to remember the reasons why I chose this way of life. It's affirming, too, since I know that even working as a novelist can be a form of support to the Order. Cooperator brother history is full of stories of talented and artistic men who used their skills to build up and support (literally) the mission.
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I had an unexpected grace-filled moment on Friday night while I was doing my homework for Pastoral Counseling. I was reading a chapter from Mark Young's book Learning the Art of Helping called "Curative Factors and Advanced Skills: Part I". Basically, this chapter talks about two fundamental problems that many people suffer from: 1) The Efficacy Problem and 2) Low Self-Worth. Young writes: "There is wide agreement that a positive self-concept is a keystone of mental health and that raising self-esteem is a fundamental task of helping...Likewise, low self-esteem has long been identified as a cause or contributing factor in many psychological diagnose and symptoms, especially anxiety, depression, stress, dependency, pathological guilt, borderline personality, and substance abuse." Given the last list of troubles, it's no wonder that self-esteem is so important.
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The reason why I loved this chapter so much is that I saw a lot of myself in what Young was talking about. In reference to Efficacy, this means that I often say "I can't do" something. For example, I often get anxious when it is my turn to be a cantor during office. So much so, I even cry out of frustration, or anticipated failure. This began to happen on Saturday, just before evening prayer. When I went down for office, however, I prayed to the Infant Jesus, and asked for the prayers of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Cecilia (patroness of musicians). For my part, I made sure that I stopped saying "I can't sing" and started saying "I can do this," "I'm doing fine," etc. Sure enough, things went smoothly. Young talks about negative thought patterns, which prompt our fears and anxieties to come to the surface. Many of these fears and negative thoughts are irrational. This is important, because they take on the power of rational thought, which gives fear its strength, without really have any substance to them. For example, someone thinking he or she is stupid, because one of his or her parents called him or her growing up. What if this person made straight "A"s in school and still believed that they were stupid? This would be irrational. One way to counter this problem is to counter this voice with rational thoughts. For example: 1) Do stupid people make straight "A"s in school?--No, 2) Did I make straight "A"s in school?--Yes, 3) Then can I call myself stupid?--No. Or something like this. (This is not to say that someone who didn't make straight "A"s in school was stupid.)
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Anyway, Young has a REPLAN system, which entails six steps toward healing: 1) Maintaining a Strong Helper/Client Relationship (=talk to someone knowledgeable about your problem), 2) Strengthen your sense of Efficacy and Self-Esteem, 3) Learn new behaviors, 4) Learn how and when to lower and raise your emotional arousal, 5) Get in touch with Hope and Motivation, 6) And have new learning experiences.
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I'm a big fan of this type of therapy, because from what I can tell, most people suffer from some form of needless anxiety/depression, because they don't realize how good they actually are. From the time we are born, we're bombarded with negative messages, and unrealistic expectations. We either internalize the criticism, or reject it all (which can be another problem). Being a religious has forced me to look inward at the old wounds, and start to relearn how I think about myself and interact with others. There's still some work to be done, but it's a life-long process. I highly recommend Young's book, which has tips for both the helper and the one who needs help.
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Peace,
P~









